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The Proverbs 31 Woman was one of the very first women that I heard of when I made the decision to receive Jesus in my life. I remember going to my first woman’s Bible study and hearing about this virtuous woman.
Everyone in my Bible study group was saying they wanted to be like her, but it was impossible to fulfill her role. This immediately sparked my interest. Who was this Proverbs 31 Woman?
First, let me say that I have a “go-getter” personality. I feel that it’s possible for me to achieve anything I put my mind to if I work hard at it.
With that said, I wanted to find out how I could become this Proverbs 31 Woman. I had a huge hunger for knowing God’s Word. I wanted to learn everything about Him and honor Him thought my life. If that meant becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman than I wanted to become her.
Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman?
The Proverbs 31 Woman is a woman of noble character. She is a hard-working woman who honors God. She’s not perfect so her qualities are achievable.
She had a reverent fear of the Lord and gained wisdom from God of the life she should lead. She was fearless, trustworthy, diligent, generous, and kind. She was a good steward of everything in her life and allowed God to lead her in her marriage.
Can I Become the Proverbs 31 Woman?
Yes, you can become the Proverbs 31 Woman. In fact, if you love Jesus, this should be your goal. I’ve heard so many women say that it’s impossible to fill her role and that’s just not true.
This woman is living life from a Biblical worldview. It’s easy for Christian women to become discouraged and even confused with their role when they base it on a secular worldview.
The Proverbs 31 Woman
The Proverbs 31 Woman has many qualities that we can achieve with the help of Jesus. If you want to become this woman then you need to lean on Jesus.
You will experience a transformation that is only possible with Jesus. It’s important to have a full understanding of Proverbs 31 in order to become this woman.
The thing that holds people back from their God-given purpose is thinking that the Bible is old news. That is a lie, don’t allow yourself to believe it. The Bible is God’s Living Word and it is never irrelevant.
In this section, I’m going to break down the qualities of this virtuous woman and put them into the perspective of the world today.
The first thing you need to know is that the basis of Proverbs 31 is Bathsheba warning her son Soloman about women and wine. We are going to cover Proverbs 31:10-31 so we can learn more about this virtuous woman. The version I will be sharing is from the NKJV.
1. She is Faithful
“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:10-11
Here we see the Proverbs 31 Woman being faithful. She loves her husband for who he is and doesn’t expect material fulfillment from him. His love and obedience to the Lord is enough for her. She is faithful and loves him for who he is, not what he has.
Our world is filled with material things that mean nothing. Your husband may bring you flowers home one day but is it the flowers that actually make you happy? It’s more likely that the thought of him bringing your flowers means more to you.
It’s important for us to remember that material things or putting our husband under pressure to obtain those material things are worthless. Sure, it’s nice to have nice things but have you noticed that it’s not those things that speak to your heart?
As I’ve grown in my walk with Christ, I’ve noticed that material things have no value to me. It means more to me that my husband is following the Lord and is the spiritual leader in our home.
My primary love languages are quality time and acts of service. I love it when my husband does my household chores for me. It lets me know that he loves me.
Faithfulness is similar. Loving our husbands for who they are and making the commitment to walk beside them no matter what takes a virtuous woman. The good news is you can be just that if you surrender your life to God and keep Him at the center of your life.
2. She is Submissive
“She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
This woman is a continual asset to her husband. This happens when you submit to your husband. God has appointed our husbands to be the leaders of our home and we are called to submit to them.
This was very hard for me early in our marriage. Prior to that, I was supporting myself and I answered to me. When God got a hold of my heart, He broke that down.
As a wife, God called me to follow my husband’s lead and trust his decisions. Ultimately, I was trusting God because He was leading my husband.
Once I understood that I needed to be in obedience to God, I was able to submit. It’s not about my husband being right or wanting his own way. It’s about my obedience.
Our marriage has been transformed by the Lord and has been a Christ-Centered marriage for several years. I feel my flesh try to rise in situations when it comes to submitting. It can really be a struggle.
The only way I’m able to conquer that struggle is by leaning on God completely. He brings me back to where I need to be in submission to my husband.
3. She Serves Others
“She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.” Proverbs 31: 13-15
The Proverbs 31 Woman takes care of her family and serves others. She goes to great lengths to get them fed both spiritually and physically.
The Bible teaches us our role as a wife, mother, and friend. Balancing those roles can get difficult and most of the time we go to great lengths to achieve them.
It’s important to remember that God comes first, your husband second, your kids third, and then everyone else. Our first ministry is in our home.
It’s common to see women serving outside of their homes while neglecting their first ministry. As a homeschooling mom with 3 kids, it’s really hard for me to find time outside of my home.
My kids take a lot of my time but I know that won’t always be the case. I’ve been able to find ways to serve and bless others in this season.
It’s important to pray and ask God how you can accomplish these ways of the virtuous woman. He will lead you in the way you should go.
4. She is Willing to Work
“She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.” Proverbs 31: 16-19
This woman is willing to work. She sees a task that needs to be done and does it. She’s not afraid to work hard and gets the job done.
This reminds me of older TV shows. You saw the husband go to work or have a home business and the family working hard all day keeping up the household.
It is no different today. The work is still there. I have to admit that I often complain about the work and would rather leave it undone at times.
Keeping up on laundry, cleaning the house, creating weekly meal plans, etc. are not my favorite thing to do. Keeping my eyes on Jesus is the only thing that motivates me when it comes to these things.
The Lord has really given me an understanding of what I need to be doing. He’s even inspired me to take things off my husband’s plate. If something needs to be done around the house I try to do it so my husband doesn’t have to.
He’s at work all day long and I’m at home so it makes sense for me to try and do it. I know a few women who create a list of items for their husbands to do when they get home.
I’ve never liked that method. I feel like my husband should be able to relax when he gets home from work. If it’s something I can’t do, I’ll discuss it with my hubby and then we will tackle it on the weekend.
I really want to be like The Proverbs 31 Woman and be a blessing to my husband. This really depends on your situation. Take some time and ask your husband how he would like you to manage the home.
5. She has Compassion
“She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20
Here we see the virtuous woman being generous. She works hard but doesn’t miss the need of those who need help.
It’s easy for us to be so busy with our own lives that we miss helping others. I believe this applies to any situation where a need can be met.
Lending a helping hand or money can be so helpful to others. I was in the store one time and a lady was short a couple of dollars on her grocery bill.
Without hesitation, the person behind her said I got it. The lady’s face lit up and you could see the thankfulness on her face. The point here is that the person that gave her the money wasn’t so busy that they missed helping her.
This is something I struggle with. I get caught up in my own world and am too busy to pay attention to the world outside of it. We need to guard our time and make sure we are making time to see beyond our own life.
Try to set time aside each day to look for an opportunity to help someone. It could be a neighbor or it may even be a phone call to see how someone is doing.
There are so many ways to lend a helping hand and it doesn’t always involve money. Time is one of the most valuable things in our lives and money can’t buy it. Pray and ask Jesus to open your eyes to a need you may able to help with.
6. She Trusts in the Lord
“She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet.” Proverbs 31:21
The Proverbs 31 Woman trusts in Lord. She knows that storms will come but she is prepared both physically and spiritually.
The storms in life are unpredictable. We never know when we will face one. Keeping ourselves prepared for situations is important. Most people are pretty good about having everything they need physically, but what about our spiritual health?
We get to a place where we trust the Lord with everything in our lives. This doesn’t mean we need to spend hours a day in the Bible. Jesus wants a personal relationship with us.
Learning to trust Him comes through prayer, reading the Bible, and constant communication with Him. This will grow your relationship with Jesus and you will be able to trust Him with everything.
7. She is Modest
“She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.” Proverbs 31:22
The virtuous woman is modest. She doesn’t draw attention to herself. Her intention is to present herself in a decent manner.
Modesty has become such an issue in the world today. Raising kids in the world today is difficult because of modesty. My daughters are 15 years old and they dress modestly.
We have taught them that exposing their body parts is only something their husband should see. I allow them to wear shorts that are short as long as they don’t expose a butt cheek.
I also allow them to wear shirts that meet the top of their pants. Showing your belly may or may not be a modesty issue but I don’t like the look of it.
Thankfully, they desire to keep themselves covered. It’s not something I have to force them to do. The Lord is working on their hearts in that area.
As for my boy, every time we go to the beach we are next to women in g-string swimsuits. It’s so sad because it’s in his face. We are working hard on teaching him the value of a genuine woman.
Overall, modesty is a real problem today. If you feel the need to be immodest then you should pray and ask the Lord to help you in this area.
8. She is a Blessing to Her Husband
“Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.” Proverbs 31:23
This woman is a blessing to her husband. She supports him in his ministry and it is seen by others.
Ministry can be difficult in a relationship. There needs to be balance. I’ve known women over the years who have felt neglected because of their husband’s ministry.
This is totally possible because it’s not being balanced correctly. If your husband is in ministry, you should be praying together about how involved it should be. Everyone is different.
Being a blessing to our husbands can be done in ways other than ministry. You and your husband should be on the same page. If you aren’t you need to work on that.
The Bible tells us that a husband and wife are one (Matt. 19:6). That doesn’t mean you won’t have disagreements but in those disagreements, you should be able to get back to your main purpose.
Centering your relationship on Christ will always bring you back to Him. Remember the battle is not between flesh and blood, it’s a spiritual battle (Eph. 6:12).
9. She is a Good Steward
“She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.” Proverbs 31: 24-25
The Proverbs 31 Woman is a good steward. She makes use of everything in her life without being wasteful.
There are many different areas of good stewardship. God calls us to be good stewards (Titus 1:7-9). Everything we have belongs to Him and we should be utilizing and managing those resources for His Glory.
For example, one of my biggest convictions is being a good steward of money. I’m not cheap but I do live a frugal lifestyle. People are so frivolous with money and that is not my heart’s desire.
Overall, being a good steward in all areas of our life is rewarding. The Bible warns us about things that will harm our life and I like to take those warnings literally.
Take some time and examine your life. Is there something you can be a better steward of? Pray and ask the Lord to reveal it to you.
10. She Speaks with Kindness
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26
The virtuous woman spoke with kindness. Her words reflected the wisdom she received from the Lord.
In Proverbs 9:10, the Bible tells us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. This is such a powerful verse. If we obtain wisdom from the Lord then we will learn to treat people with kindness.
Since wisdom is only obtained through the Lord, we need to be taking the time to study our Bibles. Every time I don’t speak kindly, it’s usually because I’m dealing with my own issues.
There are so many things that can cause us to be unkind. Things like frustration, jealousy, and pride, for example, can make us lose our focus on being kind.
I’m working hard on keeping myself from saying unkind words. My rule of thumb is if it’s not uplifting or beneficial for the conversation, then I shouldn’t say it.
If you are having trouble in this area Jesus can help you. If you lean completely on Him, He will teach you how to deny your flesh and be kind.
11. She is Content
“She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
The Proverbs 31 Woman is content. She watches over her household and doesn’t idolize what people have around her. She is content knowing that her household has everything that they need.
This is a struggle for many people I know. It’s not a big surprise because that’s what the world feeds us. We are exposed to multiple advertisements and situations every day.
We have to learn that what we have is enough. God is our provider and we need to live within our means. Going into debt to keep up with other people or your desires, is not the answer.
This isn’t only a material issue either. It’s a status issue. You may be competing with your marriage, your kids, your image, etc. This is all the flesh.
When I received Christ, I thought I could protect myself from all of this by surrounding myself with Christian people. That was wrong. Christian people do the same thing.
The truth is, we are all human and we are subject to gossip, idleness, and being discontent. We need to remember that we are accountable for our own actions.
The only person that can save us from all of this is Jesus. We need to surrender to Him knowing that He is in control as our provider. He will supply everything we need.
12. She is a Good Mother
“Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.” Proverbs 31:28-29
This virtuous woman leads a good example in her home. Her children see how she manages her household and they call her blessed.
Being a mother is a blessing. I remember back when my husband and I got married, I wanted a baby. It wasn’t because I understood the role of being a mother, it was because I thought it would be fun to have our own baby.
It isn’t until you have that baby that you realize what it is to be a good mother. The Lord blessed me with identical twin girls in my first pregnancy which was a huge surprise.
I felt that mother instinct kick in at the moment I gave birth to them. I committed myself to be a good mother. The problem was I didn’t really understand what that meant.
My flesh wanted to give them everything but what I learned over the years is that they needed my time, His spiritual guidance, and my love.
This all starts in your heart. You need to get to a place where you can set all your needs aside and be there for your kids. They need us more than we think.
The Bible is our guide for life and we need to use it. You can’t live a fake example, your kids will see right through it. Seek guidance from the Lord, He will supply the knowledge you need.
We can’t control everything out kids do so make sure you are praying for your children.
13. She Fears the Lord
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.” Proverbs 31: 30-31
The Proverbs 31 Woman fears the Lord. She trusts, respects, and holds high esteem and reverence for the Lord.
The Bible tells us that wisdom will protect us and watch over us (Proverbs 4:6-7). When we fear the Lord, we gain wisdom (Proverbs 9:10).
This is only achievable when we surrender our lives to Christ. He knows everything that we need to live this life. Beauty and charm are deceitful, they cover up what lies beneath.
Deception is becoming stronger and stronger and we need to stop covering up who we really are. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. Jesus can save anyone from anything if they surrender to His Will.
Don’t let fearing the Lord scare you. The Fear of the Lord is to hear and to head or abide by or to live by the Word of God. There are many benefits you will experience when you live the life God is calling you to live.
Taking time with the Lord and learning who He is, will help you develop a reverence for the Lord that you will cherish.
Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman
It’s important to remember that the only way we can become the Proverbs 31 Woman is though Jesus Christ. We will all fall short in our flesh but with God’s grace, we can achieve this role.
Here’s how you can become a Proverbs 31 Woman:
1. Receive Jesus in your life.
2. Study His Word and Communicate with Him daily.
3. Know His commandments and keep them.
4. Make the Proverbs 31 Woman qualities a goal to work towards.
5. Receive God’s Grace and apply it to your life.
Are you Working Towards being this Virtuous Woman?
Ever since I learned about this woman, I’ve wanted to be like her. It’s a lifelong commitment and I’m still working at it. How about you?